With a little help from a Wookie...
I'm Han, Captain of the Millenium Falcon and arguably the saviour of the galaxy. I've been described as many things; a rogue, a scoundrel, a scruffy-looking nerf herder, to name a few. I'm retired now and, finding myself at a loose end with no Imperial Starships to outrun or princesses to save, have decided to start a blog to share my valuable knowledge and experiences with the galaxy at large.
It all happened so fast. Pursued across the galaxy by a fleet of Star Destroyers, I turned in helpless desperation to an old acquaintance for sanctuary. As far as I was concerned there was little to no existing bad blood between us. Though, as it turns out, a nasty and tense feud had since been retconned into our past and it turned out that he still held a bit of a grudge. I soon myself marched by a dark lord with asthma down to a bizare smelting plant, where I became the first human test subject to be frozen in Carbonite. Boba Fett could just have put me in handcuffs, but I assume Jabba wanted me frozen in rock to be sure I couldn't use my charm and wit to wriggle out of yet another encounter. [Read on...]
Parsecs... Oh, parsecs... People have often turned to Yoda to seek a scientific and religious answer to this immortal question. Aren't Parsecs a measure of distance, not time? To set this straight once and for all: a Parsec is a measurement of both distance and time. That's what lightspeed is, you see - the manipulation of both time and space together. Forget that though, maths and science aren't important to us here in this galaxy. Neither are logic or common sense, for that matter (or even robust storytelling these days). No, those are things for the boffins to consider in more serious science fiction. Here we prefer shiny, colourful swords and massive spaceships that all fly at the same orientation through zero gravity. [Read on...]
Being a loveable rogue is tough. Very tough. The problem is that you need to be enough of a bastard so as not be classed a "good" man (like boring Skywalker), but do enough good deeds to make people like you. Personally, I've always simply been motivated by what's in it for me, and found that to be a successful way to achieve rogue status. When Greedo had me at gun-point, my motivation was simply to avoid dying. Some saw this as slightly detrimental to the "loveable" side of my character, as I seemingly killed a man in cold blood. Luckily I am fortunate enough to be a product of the imagination of a man who can't just leave things alone, so he went back and fixed it! [Read on...]